Getting Ready to Start Cruising and Feeling Overwhelmed?

While I was working at the Annapolis Sailboat Show and then teaching at Cruisers University, I met many people who were preparing to cruise. And almost all of them said they were overwhelmed with everything they needed to learn and do.

Lin Pardey, my former podcast partner and author of several cruising books (see them on Amazon), made a great point about the differences from when she started to today. “There wasn’t all this information available. We didn’t know what we didn’t know. We just left and figured things out as we went along.”

Feeling Overwhelmed Before You Even Begin

Lin’s approach is less common today. The combination of the internet, ASA classes, and Cruiser’s University (and others) has made it easier than ever to gain skills before heading out. And that is fantastic!

But at the same time, the ready listing of all the skills you need for successful cruising can be overwhelming. Especially when you’re trying to decide what you’re going to do with your house and everything you own. And buy a boat. Maybe you’ll face criticism, or at least questioning, from family and friends about your new life.

Add in insurance companies’ requirements for certifications and experience on similarly sized boats in similar waters, and perhaps their requirement that you have a captain aboard any time you leave the dock, and the feeling of incompetence really ratchets up.

“I wonder if I was nuts to think I could do this.”

“It’s just too much to learn.”

And from a just-starting-out cruiser:

“I wanted to do something new and different, and I am. But I had no idea how stressful it would be. I think I’m glad I’m doing it, but some days I wonder.”

For most of us — who weren’t raised on cruising — deciding to set off on a boat is taking on a big challenge. One that can easily overwhelm us.

The Key to Calming the Pre-Cruising Jitters

But I’m here to say that everyone hits the wall in preparing to cruise. I did. Both times. Yes, even after going cruising once and knowing what it was like, I still faced that feeling of “what was I thinking?” as I prepared to move aboard a new (to me) boat, with different systems, headed to different cruising grounds.

The solution? For me, and what I tell others, it’s two-fold:

• First, slow down a bit. Breathe. Even take a break from “preparing to cruise.” Try to get rid of deadlines. If you have sold your house but you haven’t yet found a boat, rent a furnished apartment month-to-month. Don’t rush the boat purchase. If you’re trying to get a bunch of certifications and time on the water before you can leave the dock, set the date for leaving the dock back a bit. Perhaps that means wintering or summering somewhere other than your dream destination. Space classes out. Absorb one before starting another.
  
• Second, give yourself an out. If you have a home that you’d want to return to if cruising doesn’t work for you, figure out how you can not give it up until you’ve been cruising for at least six months — better yet, a year. If you know that you’d want to move even if you weren’t going cruising, then go ahead and sell it or don’t renew the lease. Even then, think about the “stuff” that you’re getting rid of. If it really bothers you to get rid of something, see if you can keep it in storage.

Take Another Look at Your Expectations

It doesn’t help to be trapped by your own expectations. Sometimes you ned to shift your mindset to remove the pressures. Here are a few tips:

• Even if you think you might like to circumnavigate, don’t set that as a goal and don’t tell people that’s what you’re going to do. In fact, don’t set any goals. It puts a lot of pressure on you, and if you decide not to, you can feel like a failure. Instead, just say that you’re going cruising and don’t know where you might go. (But do be sure to tell your broker if you want a boat capable of circumnavigating!)
  
• When you’re starting to feel overwhelmed by everything you need to do, pick one simple item and do it. Dosomething that should be a fairly easy win. Getting just one thing done and crossing it off the list will immediately raise your spirits. Tackle the big, tough projects on a day when you’re feeling ready to take on the world.
  
• Don’t assume that your spouse/partner/kids feel the same way you do on any given day. Talk about what’s going on with you, especially if you’re having serious second thoughts (not the ones that are half joking “what am I thinking?” ideas, but the ones where you’re feeling sick in the pit of your stomach at the thought of what you’re doing). And if your spouse/partner/kids come to you with that sort of revelation, talk it out and come to a conclusion that hopefully satisfies both or all of you.
  
• If you find one particular class mind-boggling — or don’t pass one that gives a certification — don’t give up. Perhaps find someone who teaches the material differently. Or study the material on your own at a slower pace. Ask for help. Different people learn in different ways, and most likely the class was just not a good match for you.
  
• Yes, there are things that you need to know before you leave. But no matter how well-prepared you are, you’ll continue to learn as you go. And that’s okay.

Having Second Thoughts?

Are you having serious second thoughts about what you’ve tackled?

I find it helpful to go back and literally write down my reasons for having wanted to do [whatever] in the first place, and then see if those reasons still hold true. If so, maybe it’s time to just grit my way through the present discomfort. But if not, perhaps it’s time to reevaluate.

One technique I learned years ago for making a tough decision was to simply choose one way or another. And then see how you feel about it. Are you happy? Then it was probably the right decision. Are you disappointed? Well, then, think about changing your mind.

And perhaps that’s the most important thing to realize: you can change your mind. At any time. Sometimes, just that knowledge is all I need to continue moving forward.

Here to Hold Your Hand

I hope you feel better knowing you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed. We’ve all been there. It’s why learning from fellow cruisers is so helpful. In fact, it’s part of why I started The Boat Galley: to create a space where cruisers can share with each other. The blog posts and comments, podcasts, and newsletters all offer practical advice in small bites.

It’s also why we began offering courses, for cruisers by cruisers. Starting with the early steps in The Basics of Living on a Boat and From Dreamer to Cruiser, and going on from there, to more advanced courses, we’ve got your back. Take a single class or take advantage of savings offered through the All-Access Pass. There’s no timeline to complete a course, and you have lifetime access. What could be easier? And less overwhelming?

Don’t Let Your Own Expectations Overwhelm You

I hope these easy, actionable tips help lessen your feelings of overwhelm. Remember, you’re doing this for yourself (and your crew). It’s supposed to be fun. And it can be, if you allow yourself to step forward into your new adventure without feeling subject to expectations that you only hold for yourself.

Good luck. Let us know how we can help.

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