Do you love a reluctant cruiser? You’re not alone.
One of the questions I get most often is “I want to go cruising but my (husband/wife/partner/kids) doesn’t. How can I get them more interested?”
Whoof. It’s a big question. The first part of the answer lies in communication.
Communication
The first step is to find out why they are not fully onboard with the idea. It’s time to listen and not assume that you know the reasons. It’s also not the time to push their concerns aside or talk over them. Dig deep and discover why they are reluctant.
Common reasons include:
- I don’t have a clue about how to do anything on a boat.
- I’ve never spent time on a boat and cannot imagine what it would be like.
- I’m not strong.
- I get seasick.
- I can’t swim and am terrified of water.
- I have health issues that could interfere with cruising.
- I have a different dream; I want to _______.
- I don’t want to leave my friends/family/church/house/garden/whatever.
- I have no desire to change my life.
- I don’t want to “camp out.”
- How would we ever afford it?
- I don’t trust that you know what you’re doing.
- Boats are a lot of work and I don’t want to do it.
- I’m afraid you’re going to end up yelling at me and make me feel like a failure.
Ouch. Some of those hurt, don’t they? But until you really uncover the reasons, you’re not going to get them onboard.
Step Two
Once you know why they’re reluctant, THEN you can start to address the issues. And yes, there may be a certain amount of compromise needed. And again, there are no universal answers but some may include:
- A charter vacation just to see what it’s like – perhaps first with a crew and perhaps later on a bareboat.
- Classes – both on operating a boat and also on boat life skills.
- Part-year cruising so that time can be spent at home or on their dream.
- Plans for frequent trips “home” or to visit family.
- More time in a marinas.
- Work together to make a realistic budget.
One important thing is to get them involved in brainstorming ideas and don’t pooh-pooh any of their concerns (this is about the fastest way to get them to totally reject the idea of going cruising). Take their worries seriously.
Cruising Is Not For Everyone
Hopefully, they’ll try cruising and decide they like it. But no matter what you do, they may not. And then you have to decide what to do.
The answer, however, doesn’t have to be “never go cruising.” There are other options:
- Maybe they’ll agree to do weekend or week-long trips.
- They fly in to join you in “interesting” places.
- You cruise without them but for only part of the year.
- Do deliveries either as hired crew or helping friends move their boat.
- Take them on charters, perhaps with crew.
Or come up with your own compromise! Being a reluctant cruiser doesn’t have to mean they’re a never-cruiser.
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Carolyn Shearlock has lived aboard full-time for 17 years, splitting her time between a Tayana 37 monohull and a Gemini 105 catamaran. She’s cruised over 14,000 miles, from Pacific Mexico and Central America to Florida and the Bahamas, gaining firsthand experience with the joys and challenges of life on the water.
Through The Boat Galley, Carolyn has helped thousands of people explore, prepare for, and enjoy life afloat. She shares her expertise as an instructor at Cruisers University, in leading boating publications, and through her bestselling book, The Boat Galley Cookbook. She is passionate about helping others embark on their liveaboard journey—making life on the water simpler, safer, and more enjoyable.
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